You are not unworthy
You are already worthy of love and belonging, so what do you do with all the scriptures that talk about how you need to live worthy and holy and right as if you might not be?
Dualism interprets verses like this:
"Just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."*
to mean that you mustn't already be holy.
The call to action negates your current state. If Peter is saying that God wants people to live a life worthy of the call, that must mean that people generally don't live worthy of the call, and the point is to stop being unworthy, and figure out what to do to become holy.
(oh, how we complicate things.)
Pride, ego, ridiculous standards, scarcity culture, all make life (and religion), a race to achievement and attainment. It becomes a worthiness contest in which everybody loses or gives up.
But the spiritual life is about realisation and wholeness, not performance and perfection. The full Biblical revelation is about waking up, not achieving, or accomplishing, or attaining. "You cannot get there, you can only be here." Said Richard Rohr. "But for some reason, that foundational Being-in-God is too hard to believe, too good to be true. Only the humble can receive it because it affirms more about God than it does about us."
And that's THE THING! Your worthiness and enough-ness isn't dependant on what you do or don't do - it's a fundamental part of the fabric of your being. IT is how you were made. It is your genesis, your origin, your being, and where you are headed.
Worthiness isn't a commodity, even though religion and society have commodified IT to the nth degree. It isn't something you can get and keep or lose. It just always is.
The spiritual life is not a life of either/or - you are not either a sinner or a saint, worthy or unworthy, full of doubt or full of faith - you contain multitudes. Within you are complexities and contradictions that affirm and attest to your humanity, your growing and becoming, and your ability to hold the tension of it all with grace and love.
Because the fact is you will do things that make you feel un-holy and un-worthy. Things will happen to you that will feel un-holy and un-worthy. Things are happening in the world that make the whole thing feel so un-holy and as far away from God as they could possibly be.
The thing with worthiness is that it stays close. Mistakes and mess and trauma and pain and presidents and elections and racism and misogyny and discrimination and fractured society and abusive parents and unfaithful partners and those parts of you that fill you with shame - all of it! - none of it can keep your worth and value away. They don't nullify it. They don't make you un-holy. You can't be cancelled from being enough.
In his memoir, John wrote that Jesus said:
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you… As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love."*
The way to remain in the energy and flow of Divine love (connected to the vine, to use Jesus' metaphor) is to remain in love. That essence of worth and holiness? Of wholeness? It's in you. Love reveals it. It doesn't depend on what you do, but on you 'remaining' in the awareness that it's already a part of who you are. It is in you, and you are in it.
St Teresa of Avila once said:
"It would be absurd to suggest that someone go into a room she is already in!"
Stop being so small, trying to find the vastness of the world and love and belonging outside of yourself. You are already in the room. It is within your reach. All you need to do to find it is "remain," wake up, open your eyes and see.
Mindful Prompt: You are already worthy of love and belonging and being here and living a life. "The only thing that was ever wrong with you was the belief that there was something wrong with you." (Glennon Doyle).
More in the latest series called "Where Your Worth Comes From", this week with a subscription in the App.
Written by Liz Milani.
Instagram: @thepracticeco
*1 Peter 1:16, John 15:5-9.
