Sin isn't your problem

When you feel stuck, one of the best things you can do is talk about it.

The spiritual practice of confession was never meant to be a power play of religious superiority and hierarchy. Paul encouraged his friends to confess their sins to one another because he knew what Maya Angelou also knew:

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

And friend, sin isn't the problem. Sin isn't what's going to ruin you. Shame will do that job thoroughly. Hiding keeps shame in play. Keeping your stories locked inside you creates a damage so thick and pervasive it can seem like there is no way out and that no one could possibly understand.

Shame is a liar. There is a way out of this kind of stuck-ness. And you are not alone.

Brene Brown said:

"Shame is lethal. It's deadly. The less you talk about it, the more you got it. Shame needs three things to grow exponentially in our lives. Secrecy. Silence. Judgement. Empathy creates an environment that is hostile to shame. Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot survive empathy. Shame depends on me buying into the belief that I am alone."

This is why we practice confession, why we speak our truth, why we dare utter the secrets that are keeping us their prisoner.

Often you can find yourself feeling stuck because you are weighed down by shame and humiliation and judgement and regret and feeling like you are not enough, and if people really knew who you are and what you've done and what's happened to you, you might just disappear into nothingness. My friend, open your mouth and find your freedom. Speak the words, tell the stories, douse that shame with empathy and compassion and love, and you'll find that you are not alone and you have nothing to be ashamed of.

You have nothing to be ashamed of.
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Choose your witness carefully. Not everyone deserves your secrets. Not everyone will treat them with the value and care they deserve.

Trust is hard, and it should be. It's sacred. You have to work at it.

Don't let this keep you silent, rather let it make you careful. Call a therapist if you need to. Call a helpline if you need to. But I know that if you took your fear-and-shame-stained glasses off for a minute, you would know someone who you could speak to.

And you can always speak to yourself. Sometimes the person we find most hard to be honest with, is ourselves. Maybe you need to journal for a time, speak into your phone while you record it. Find a solitary space near the ocean or in a forest and whisper your truth to your heart in a way that only you can hear.

No matter where you confess, it will help you get unstuck. Compassion not condemnation is the way. Open your mouth and find your freedom.

More in the latest series called "You Are Not Stuck", this week with a subscription in the App.

Mindful Prompt: Sometimes the person we find the hardest to be honest with, is ourselves. Open your heart to yourself and remember who you are. You can trust yourself with yourself. Tell your stories. Speak the words. Open your mouth and be free.

Written by Liz Milani.
Instagram: @thepracticeco