It feels like giving up, but really, it’s giving space…

When a writer hasn’t been writing, they’re still writing…

If you’re not a writer, you actually do the same in your everyday life. Not doing something for a while helps you do it better when you come back to it. Taking a break, having a rest, making space for other things… sometimes you can get too close to something to do it well.

Ever noticed that when you try to be a better parent by parenting better, you end up struggling? Ever notice that when you try to be a better friend by being available all the time, you drop the ball more often? Ever notice that when you try really hard not to be on your phone, you end up caving and spending time on it anyway?

For a few years, I’ve tried to be a better writer/businesswoman/everything-to-everyone-and-all-the-things-in-between, and I’ve just had to stop.

Obsession, overthinking, white-knuckling… I often find myself trying too hard. In Australia, we even have the term ‘Try Hard’ to describe someone who is overly earnest to be/do/attain something.

Me.

At times.

So, eff it. I’ve had a break.

Do you need one?

I get it, it’s not like you can ‘opt out’ of parenting or working (I still have to run my business, you know?), being in a relationship, having friends—all of that. But you can take a break from trying too hard and just let yourself

Chill the F out.

Listen. It doesn’t matter if you’re not the best. It doesn’t matter if it’s taking time. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t look the way everyone thinks it should (what is that anyway?).

In the pursuit of being significant, we lose sight of our unique magic, and we trade it for status, applause, and acceptability. We end up taking our gifts, passions, and responsibilities and forcing them into the shape of someone else’s making (most often subconscious).

And most often, I’ve found, to let myself and my ‘work’ (whatever it is) find itself again, I’ve just had to surrender, let it go for a bit, and walk away. It feels like giving up, but really, it’s ‘giving space.’ And that space?

It’s connective. Regenerative. It starts off feeling like nothing and then sweeps into the whole world of everything.

With parenting? It looks like taking the pressure off. Stop trying to be a better parent and just be in the moment. Stop trying to think of all the right things, and just lean on the love. Let yourself be tired. Tell the truth. Say sorry. Sleep (if and when you can). Your kids will value your vulnerability more than your perfection every day of the week until the day they pass. Trust me.

At work? It looks like rejecting the idea of perfection and just showing up with what you have.

In partnership? It looks like letting things be as they are instead of trying to make them glamorous.

Because one of the secrets to life is this: YOU are the magic. You don’t conjure it, earn it, or procure it. You just are it. In all your iterations.

When the tide goes out, it always comes back in. When the sun sets, it always rises again. When you inhale, you always exhale (until the end… but we’re not talking about that).

There’s a flow to it. Stop trying to be static, and let yourself ride the wave.

I’m with you all the way to shore and back out again.

Even when you’re not doing whatever it is that you do, you’re doing it. Because that’s part of it. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Love you,

Liz xo