What does Soul Care look like for you?
Well, hi.
Hope you are well! I’ve been sick with a head cold the last few days, so all is a little foggy. It’s funny, though, how cosy even a few sick days can feel. A chance to think and stop and binge some cheesy TV, do what you need to recoup and recover.
Self-care too easily gets wrapped in selfish indulgence… candles and baths and chocolate and time alone. And look, those things aren't bad, and they absolutely can be a part of self-care, but they alone aren't enough, and I sometimes worry that when people practice little acts of kindness for themselves, they think that they alone will make a larger difference than what they do, and they end up disappointed, and even further away from deep, nourishing, restorative care.
Self Care is not selfish, narcissistic, or prideful, but some use the label of self-care to justify toxic behaviour. These days? I talk about self-care in terms of Soul Care.
Soul Care is the intentional practice of integrating all aspects of the human experience: physical, relational, emotional, sexual and vocational. These core aspects of our human existence form the real me—the real soul of a person. Each area needs care. Each area needs attention.
Now, this sounds complex to begin with, but it actually takes the work of soul care from a small niche experience that you have to fight for to something that is accessible inside every moment and experience - work, rest and play - because together, they all work for your good.
Soul Care is simply the practice of paying attention to what your body, heart, and mind needs and wants, and taking responsibility for administering those needs to yourself.
It is crazy how many of us have no idea what our bodies, hearts, and minds need and want. We don't know what makes us feel good or bad, what makes us angry or joyful, or even what we like and dislike. We get busy doing and being all the things, while trying to stand up underneath anxiety and expectation, while hoping that somewhere out there, things will change, and we'll arrive, and we'll feel free.
Soul care is the awareness of what makes you tick, how your body works, what's good for your mind and heart, and committing to those practices to cultivate joy, vitality and longevity. It's what get's you through grief, disappointment, worry and fear. Soul Care isn't a distracting tool taking you away from life; it's the practice of presence and empathy, responsibility and grace.
I wonder what Soul Care might look like for you. There isn't a one size fits all approach when it comes to integration and connection. It's a perpetual journey of self-discovery.
Jesus said:
"Don't be flip with the sacred. Banter and silliness give no honor to God. Don't reduce holy mysteries to slogans." (Matt 7:6.)
Many interpret this to be about dogmas and doctrines and rituals, but what if The Sacred that Jesus is talking about is you?
Don't be flip with yourself, with your own sacredness. Please don't treat it nonchalantly, like it doesn't matter, like you and your well-being are an item way down on the list of importance.
What I've come to learn about the spiritual life and soul care is your well-being is its highest priority because when we honour our own sacredness, it connects us to the holiness of all things.
Pema Chodron said:
"Be kinder to yourself. And then let your kindness flood the world."
Jack Cornfield said:
"If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete."
Don't be flip with your sacred self, with your one wild and precious life. Take care of it: take care of yourself. It will only further enable you to take care of others and the world around you.
This week in The Practice Co App, we'll explore different aspects of soul care, and how you can find what works for you. And don't worry, it's not as high-brow as it sounds. When everything is spiritual, when everything is a conduit for your growth and well-being, it levels the playing field; it means you can find what matters right here where you are, in the ordinary, the joy, the madness, and the pain alike. It sucks the hyper-seriousness out of it and makes the idea of soul care humanly possible. It's my hope that you find that to be true.
CONSIDER THIS: "I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgence. Caring for myself is an act of survival." Audre Lorde.
Hope to see you in the App, xo
Liz Milani
Instagram: @thepracticeco
From this week’s series titled "Soul Care - How to make your belonging possible", with a subscription, in the App. Hope to see you there.
