The truth is, failure is not the end
The truth is, failure isn't real.
Hang on, what's that? You have failed? You feel like a failure? You have a whole list of failings and shortcomings and stories and examples of things that fill you with shame?
Let me ask you this:
By whose standards, and by what measure, have you failed?
Don't live your life playing into the expectations and standards set by those who don't know you, love you, or have your growth and vitality at heart.
The truth is, failure is a construct of shame.
If you're having a hard time with that concept - which is totally acceptable because not only are you weighing up the experiences of failures in your life but the ones where others have failed you, too - try it this way instead:
The truth is, failure is not the end. You live, and you learn, and you grow and you evolve. Life is not something you can fail at. There is no such thing as a ruined life, because, as Rumi said:
"Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure."
Yes, you make mistakes; other people disappoint you and hurt you. Yes, unexpected things happen outside of the realm of your control that you have no choice but to navigate.
But all of these things are not failings. They are not the end.
The Psalmist wrote:
"Weak and feeble ones you will sustain. Those bent over with burdens of shame you will lift up."
How does God sustain you when you're feeling weak and feeble with failure, bent over with burdens of shame? What does that look like? What had the Psalmist experienced that they could write such a thing? Because it's a big claim, that God, whom you can't see with your eyes or hear with your ears or touch with your skin, literally lifts you out of failure and shame.
But the truth is, God isn't out there somewhere. God is in you, with you, for you... God is in your eyes and your ears and your skin. The eternal is stitched into the fabric of the human, of you, of your body, soul, and spirit. Inside every atom is an imprint of divinity. You have within yourself the means to connect with the goodness and the greatness and the beyond-ness of The Divine. The only hook is discovering how that works for you. How do you connect in? Where do you feel Spirit most? What does it look like for you to integrate the infinite into your immensities?
It could be silence, music, the ocean, fresh air, a good book, an inspiring story, prayer, poetry... but there are two simple things that seem to help above all of these.
1) Close your eyes.
This is less about blocking out distractions and more about looking within. Every time you close your eyes, imagine that you're opening them to your interiors. It's a gateway, like walking through a door. God is there. At the very least, to use evangelical language, God lives in your heart, so wouldn't you look there for God? Close your eyes and be at one with yourself.
2) Breathe.
Breath is our natural connection to the supernatural. One of my favourite poems in the Bible is in Genesis: the writer describes God breathing into humanity to wake them up, give them consciousness, bring them to life. The breath of God is in you, circulating through your lungs and your blood and your body. When you follow your breath, you awaken that connection.
Maybe God sustaining you is as simple as coming back to the truth that God is in you, God is for you, and you cannot fail. Maybe it's as simple as closing your eyes and breathing.
And as long as you can close your eyes and breathe, it is not the end, and failure is not fatal, and you can learn and grow, and beautiful things can come from this.
THEN THERE’S THIS: Discovering what doesn't work for you is grace at work in your life. Sometimes, the worst things lead to the best things. Sometimes what presents as failure ends up changing your life for the best. Close your eyes. Breathe. This is not the end.
From my upcoming New Year’s series, "True Things" this week with a subscription in the App.
Written by Liz Milani
Instagram: @thepracticeco
