Is there enough support to go around?
You've heard the saying that when you're in a plane that's crashing, you should adjust your own oxygen mask first before helping others with their's.
Which is great if you're in a plane crash. But I think the nature of that idea falls short of the real-life experience of getting help while being a help. It's not that binary, that black and white. That quick. When you've got kids, a partner, a business, friends, parents, siblings, all of who need any kind of support, while you need support yourself? We're working this stuff out in real-time, over a length of time, in the middle of the lives we live, in complicated and nuanced situations, where often a little bit of both is required at any given time.
It’s more congruent, integrative, and less either-or, me first, you later… or vice versa - you first, me sometime in the future when I have time and space. The level of support we need or are able to give is not a measure of our faith or success; it is not a condemnation or mark of our worth. It is not shameful to need support, and it does make you superior when you give it.
Brené Brown said:
"Somehow we've come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we're very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer help" and "those who need help." The truth is that we are both."
The whole earth is an ecosystem of support. A network of help. A community designed for health. Support is part of the foundation of the entire universe… that is what a foundation does - it supports, holds, strengthens, creates space… it's a point of gravity and balance, rest and activity, care and growth. We are not in a race against each other; life is not a competition. We are integrative beings, connected, joined, part of the ecosystem of all things.
This series is about finding support in the life that you have, in the ways that you need help, in the ways that you reach out and help, and in all the ways that you are already supported.
Affirmation: I am held. I am supported. I am gentle with myself and others about the way we need each other; I embrace the need we have of one another as a place of strength, not weakness.
Join me this week in the App. I think it will help.
Liz Milani xo
Instagram: @thepracticeco
From this week’s series titled "The Magic of Collaboration and Support" with a subscription in the App. Hope to see you there.
