How to Save a Life

"No one has greater love than a person who lays down [their] life for [their] friends." Said Jesus. He was mid-speech, teaching his friends and followers important things about life and love.

Ever since John recorded these words in his memoir, they have been quoted at poignant times of sacrifice and memories to honour those who have laid down their lives for others in a thousand different ways, to a thousand different degrees, for whole countries of us, or even just one of us.

Which is holy and good and true and right.

It's preached through our myths and legends and stories and sermons: the highest test of our faith, the most significant gesture and act of love and generosity and holiness and everything good and worthy and true, is to give our life (literally or otherwise) so that someone else can live.

After all, isn't that what Jesus did for us? And didn't he tell his friends and followers to go and do likewise?

We begin with big dreams of saving the world, making a difference, leaving a mark. And before long, we are living lives of denial and calling it a sacrifice; we are demonising our doubts and calling it righteousness, we are ignoring our pain, and calling it faith. The words of Jesus about laying our lives down for each other, in this world of dualism and exclusivity and scarcity, quickly becomes an unrealistic standard having us divorce ourselves from our own hearts and minds and bodies in an attempt to become holy and worthy and honourable. We try to leave ourselves so that we can attain godliness - this great love that we want to be identified with.

Which is ironic.

What if we believed that we could befriend our selves? Our own lives and bodies and hearts and minds? What if the love that Jesus demonstrated for us, he also showed himself? What if Jesus died for us, but also because he couldn't not be true to himself? He couldn't deny who he was and where he was going and what he believed?

What if YOU are the friend that you are meant to give your life for?

It turns out that the only life you really can save, the life you end up saving, is your own. And isn't that how you help others save themselves, too?

What's more powerful, a community looking for a saviour? Or a community knowing that the saviour is within them, granting them the capacity and courage and strength to show up to their own lives, moment by moment, day by day?

Because it also turns out, that the way to save the world is not by losing yourself in the service of others, but by finding yourself in love and friendship with your own body, past and present.

More on this in a series to come, but I wanted to share these thoughts with you as I introduce to you a human that has profoundly changed my life. And she hasn't done it by swooping in and rescuing me. Nicole Sachs, LCSW has taught me how to save myself. How to show up to my own pain and suffering, how to daily die to my ego and denial and all the ways that I ignore the turmoil within, and lovingly walk myself into the light. The next few days, she has generously written us a series predominantly about healing chronic pain by attending to our emotional geography. But it also goes way beyond that. Her work has empowered me to live my life in the midst of it, on the journey, in the thick and thin of whatever comes my way, free of the grip of fear (it's a continuing work), free to fall in love with my own life, free to get on with it in the way that I was born to do.

"No greater love has a human that this: than to lay down their lives for their friends."

Befriend yourself. Let yourself die to the things that aren't serving you. Allow your body to let go of the shame that is killing you, of the fear that is crippling you, and embrace the love that leads you into newness.

Mindful Prompt* What is one thing that you do or are involved with that is no longer serving you? And adversely, what is something that you could do or become involved with that would serve you? Explore how you could let the first thing go, to embrace the second.

(This post is an excerpt from The Practice Co App guest series with Nicole Sachs, LSCW called "How To Save A Life", available to download for iOS and Android! It includes daily devotionals, phone wallpapers, a daily mindful prompt and more included. Start with a free trial or subscribe to get access to each new series as they come out.)

Much love from  Liz Milani.
Instagram: @thepracticeco