How do you turn your fear into courage?

When making up your mind about something, whether it be about your vocation or a relationship or your faith or your kids or financial situation, whatever it is, make fear work for you.

And yes, fear does work for you. You do not work for it. Although it will try and make you feel like you do. Fear puffs itself up and shouts loud and full and convincingly. Fear shows up in your body, in your dreams, and in your thoughts. Fear believes not only that its role in your life is essential and critical, but that it also has the most important and urgent information to give over everything else. Fear is a narcissist.

Fear does play an important role in your life. It's a survival mechanism and has kept humanity alive since the very beginning. Fear has a place. Don't be fooled into thinking that you need to be fearless, or that you can arrive at a place in your life where you will have no fear. The absence of fear is recklessness, and it wreaks havoc on one and all.

The thing with fear is how you treat it. How much space you give it. Do you let it make all the decisions? Take the helm? Lead the way? Do you bow down to it? It's easy in the middle of a fear storm to mistake its voice for your own. We become afraid of fear because we believe it has the power to name who we are, claim its identity as our own. It fills us with shame and keeps us small.

But you are not fear. It's just that sometimes you feel afraid. And you have the courage and the capacity to face your fears and make them work for you. Because that's what you're meant to do with fear: face it. Listen to it. Objectively (as you can). Take what's helpful, leave the rest.

When the writer of 1 John wrote:

"There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love,"*

they weren't talking about living a life free of fear.

Imagine if, when fear showed up on your doorstep tantrum-ing like a five-year-old, writhing and gritty and strong and a little bit smelly, you decided to show it love? As in, you treated it like tantrum-ing five-year-old... imagine what would happen if you opened your arms to fear and held it close to your chest like you would when a child or a loved one is afraid? Imagine love having the courage to face fear, look it full in the eyes, not with judgement or condemnation, but with grace and affection.

What would happen to fear then?

Maybe it will calm down a little, and the story it has to tell you will be a little closer to the truth than when it was in its emotional height. Maybe it will be clearer and calmer. Maybe its warning will be easier to understand.

Fear that's approached by love is fear that will work for you.

Make up your mind now: live from love, not from fear. Fear has a voice and a place, but love makes the decisions. Love leads the way. You have the courage to do that, even when you feel afraid.

(This post is an excerpt from The Practice Co App series called "Making Up Your Mind", available to download for iOS and Android! It includes daily devotionals, FREE Mindful Prompt notifications (no subscription needed), phone wallpapers and more. Start with a free trial or subscribe to get access to each new series as they come out.)

Mindful Prompt*: In her book, Room, Emma Donaghue wrote: "Scared is what you're feeling. Brave is what you're doing." Make that your mantra for when the fear comes. And as you say the words, focus every loving intention you could possibly have on yourself, and on fear. Let love draw fear and its message in close, holding it, calming it down like a worked up child, giving it a glass of water, and wiping its tears. Love takes your fear by the hand and turns it into courage. (*Included every day, in the app now as a FREE daily push notification - no subscription necessary!)

Written by Liz Milani.
Instagram: @thepracticeco