Start with loving yourself

With all the change that's going in the world right now, and the changes that you know need to happen in your life, or just different things that you want to get into, but you're not sure where to start, so much so that the overwhelm of it all is paralysing you in any and every form,

Start with loving yourself.

Self-love is the hardest of all loves because it is both the most important and the most misunderstood love.

Perhaps you have trouble directing love into yourself from yourself. It's easy to rely on the love you receive from others as the only way to feel and fuel its strength in your life. But there is a well of love within you waiting to be unleashed upon yourself.

There seems to be some misconceptions about self-love and self-care in faith communities. You're taught not to be prideful, but to seek the pride of a leader. You're to give the best of yourself to others but not think the best of yourself about yourself. There's an emphasis on self-critique, while self-awareness is downplayed. You dance a tight and awkward two-step between shame, guilt, and just enough self-respect. Not too much… you don't want it to go to your head. My Pastor used to say that before he became a Christian, his life was an offence to God. "I'm nothing without Jesus" was our banner, our motto, and our MO. And it sunk in deep.

I am nothing without Jesus.
I am nothing.

Loving yourself is sometimes, in some circles, seen as a sin. People are afraid of what it will turn into. But it does not mean being self-absorbed, or narcissistic, or disregarding of others. Those things stand on their own and have nothing to do with Divine love. Believing that you are nothing is incredibly damaging to your health, heart and faith.

And there's nothing to fear; what you turn into when you love yourself is a free and whole person, on your way to more freedom and healing.

You started with love. You started with goodness. When it comes to deciding what to do next and what to believe and how to feel, start with the fact that you are loved, and you already belong. If you don't start there, you'll build a life chasing something that you already have.

Jesus said:

"Love the Lord your God with every passion of your heart, with all the energy of your being, and with every thought that is within you.' This is the great and supreme commandment. And the second is like it in importance: 'You must love your friend in the same way you love yourself.' Contained within these commandments to love you will find all the meaning of the Law and the Prophets."*

Brene Brown said:

"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we'll ever do."

Buddha said:

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."

When it comes to love, you can't separate it. It is of one piece. There's not love for God, then love for your neighbour, then love for yourself. There is just the flow of love in your life. When you fall in love with your own life, you are really falling in love with life itself, in all its complicated, beautiful, divine, glory.

So when it comes to love and life and where to begin?

Start within.

(This post is an excerpt from The Practice Co App series called "Here Is Where You Start", available to download for iOS and Android! It includes daily devotionals, FREE Mindful Prompt notifications (no subscription needed), phone wallpapers and more. Start with a free trial or subscribe to get access to each new series as they come out.)

Mindful prompt: The hardest journey you will embark on is overcoming how you see yourself. To find the love you seek, look within. Learn to rest in that place deep inside your heart, it is your true home.

Written by Liz Milani.
Instagram: @thepracticeco