Have you every asked why this? Or why now?

You might find yourself from time to time asking, saying, begging, pleading, wondering: 

Why this? 
Why now? 

Have you wondered about this in the face of pain and heartache or tragedy and inconvenience? And shortly after, found yourself comparing your situation to everyone else's, which leads to other thoughts like: 

It's not fair.
It's fine for them; they're not
here, facing this, 
with these limited resources, 
with these toxic influences, 
with non-existent support, 
like me, 
in this, 
right now. 

When you're in the thick of it, and you feel the squeeze and ache of whatever kind of hardship it is, it's easy, and tempting, to believe that you are, more than anyone else, hard done by. Alone. Isolate. Special in your challenge. It props up our ego in the sense that it kinda makes us feel like we can let ourselves off the hook. "If I had it better like they do, then I wouldn't be in this pain that I'm in." Comparison, wallowing, and blame games are ultimately just other ways to distract ourselves from the heart of the issue, face our own lives, and do the work that the pain is trying to alert us to.

And then there’s this: 

Perhaps it's not fair. What's happening in your life, mine, and your neighbour's could be the furthest thing from fair that there is. Maybe you can legitimately point the finger at someone else and lay blame at their feet. And perhaps it's even important that you do call it out, and voice it, expose it, get it out of your cells and into the atmosphere. 

But even then, after all of that has been done, no matter how fair or right it is, where you are is where you are. Whether you got yourself here, or not. You can only be here. And this is how you find your power.

For the Biblical characters that said in their stories, "Hineni - Here I am, Lord," that was how they expressed the act and presence of showing up to the life they were in, total availability and responsibility to what was happening. Here I am. In this. On this. Exactly as it is. And I'm ready to work with it.

You can, and you will, and one day you'll look back, and you'll find that that is exactly how you got your power back. Besides, what use is it comparing yourself, your one wild and precious life, your uniqueness, to others? Especially strangers on the internet? Decide now that you will not waste your time or your energy worrying about someone else's life and how it compares with yours, in the good things and in the bad, equally and alike. 

If you find yourself in that spiral of questions, you have permission and the power to answer back for yourself:

Why me?
Here I am. 

Why this? 
Here I am. 

Why now? 
Here I am. 

Let the healing begin. 
Here. I. Am.

That's where the power is.

JOURNAL PROMPT: Let the questions like ‘why me?', 'Why now?', And 'Why this?' arise. Give them airspace. Let them be here with you. Let them be in the presence of awareness and compassion. Write them an answer from this place of grace, from here, where you are now. 

Written by Liz Milani
Instagram: @thepracticeco

From this week’s series, "You Can Only Be Here", with a subscription, in the App.