Grace to forgive yourself

Grace only works if it is received in the body as well as the soul. 

Too often, and for far too long, grace has been merely a word, a wish, a sentiment sent on the winds of pacification and distance; 'grace, to you,' we say, 'grace to you,' it is said to us, and nobody has to do a thing, because, hey presto, there's the word, and we leave at that. 

But grace is not a sentiment. Grace is not even a prayer. Grace is not an idea, a wish, a magic spell, something you can say and then walk away. 

For our Jewish Mothers and Fathers and Others, grace is the embodiment of Divine loving-kindness and compassion. And it means nothing if it only stays on airwaves. 

Grace is an experience we live our way into. Grace is how we move our bodies in connection with others. Grace is the Imago Dei - the Christ in me - in both gift and practice. They are of the same flow, like how a wave rises up onto the shore and then flows back out to sea. 

Grace is not an agent of cover-up or rescue, hiding parts of you that have been deemed unacceptable or fallen short, or whisking you away from 'here' with thoughts of 'there.'

One of the greatest deceptions of modern Christianity is that this life is about getting to heaven. In short, there are communities full of people who are not really living here, now, in their own bodies, with the gift of this life that they have in their hands; they're living unto something and somewhere else. It's a great distraction from pain and responsibility, and even joy and bliss when we don't know how to allow ourselves to experience them. 

And grace? Grace is the kindness to forgive yourself for trying to be rescued from here, from this, from your own life and self.

Grace is allowing yourself to heal back together again. 

And listen, if grace isn't a rescue mission from here, and if it doesn't cover over all the things that you've done wrong, then grace is the energy that seeks justice, upholds accountability, builds healthy boundaries and strengthens them, because at it's essence, grace is the capacity to look at life full in the face and do the next right thing and not be destroyed by it, whether you've been wronged, or you've done something wrong, and all the other things that pertain to a life. 

And when it is spoken, may grace be a call to action, a conjuring of hope, in the blood and in the heart, bringing to mind the web of possibility and kindness that upholds us all and all that we can do when we live as though that web is real. Because, indeed, it is. 

Frederick Buechner said: 

"The grace of God means something like: "Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are, because the party wouldn't have been complete without you. Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid. I am with you. Nothing can ever separate us. It's for you I created the universe. I love you." There's only one catch. Like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you'll reach out and take it. Maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too."

So, reach out and take it, body and soul, blood and breath, embodied and mindful. 

Consider this: Grace is seeing the beauty in the bud as well as the bloom as well as the petals as they rise and fall.

From my upcoming series, "Grace Is Now" this week with a subscription in the App.

Written by Liz Milani
Instagram: @thepracticeco