God doesn’t have a plan for your life
Do you want to do something significant with your life?
In the circles I grew up in, we used to talk about doing 'big things' for God, having 'big hope', 'big faith,' making 'big change' and 'big impact' with our lives and choices.
In many instances, numbers and bums on seats and hands in the air have been the defining point of success and validity of a faith community, event, or gathering.
The bigger, the better. Bigger being something that happens outside of you, beyond you, apart and separate from you, but that you get to sacrifice yourself for because that’s the part you play, that’s the big move you make…
The 'big sacrifice'.
I used to pray that God would use me.
What strange language for a child to be taught? That it is good to be used… “I’ll do anything you ask, God. Go wherever you send me. Say whatever you tell me to say.”
No critical thinking, no nuance, no wisdom, just faith.
Faith that what I heard and how I interpreted was the right way. And if I was persecuted or hurt in the carrying out of God’s plan? That was my cross to bear, my part to play, my sacrifice to make.
I pray that we would all be healed from the idea that God uses people, that it is permissible for people to be used, that humans, flesh and blood and dreams and love, are made to be used.
God doesn’t use people; God loves people.
God doesn’t have a plan for your life. You were not made to fit a specific hole or fulfil a specific role like this is the matrix, and you just have to plug in and let God do God's thing.
God doesn’t want to use you.
God is not something that can use people.
And while, yes, you are unique, and the way you see the world, and the way you create things and process things and talk and live and move and breathe is a living expression of God, the Divine creative energy that got this whole thing started, including you, and keeps it all going, the plan from the very beginning is not that you would fulfil a purpose, but that you would live your life.
Those big things you want to do? The ache to be significant? To make an impact and leave a mark?
Listen, your life will ripple out from beyond in ways you could never imagine. You are a temple, and the earth is a witness, a shrine, the living memory of all that you are and all that you have done and all that you will do.
You do not need your name etched on stone or your face streamed live across the globe to have done 'big things' for God and others.
Sometimes (mostly) the biggest moves you can make are the small subversive choices you make every day, within yourself, to love, to show up, to be vulnerable, to lean into your anger and your joy, to listen to your anxiety’s and fears for the information they give you, to follow your heart and the leading of Spirit in tandem, learning as you go, asking for forgiveness and forgiving others, trusting and also setting boundaries, saying yes and saying no, and sometimes saying nothing at all.
The 'big thing' isn’t something you do, isn’t some event, isn’t some incident or situation or institution that happens beyond you that you must sacrifice your self and life for, fold yourself up into, die to your heart and hopes in order to be alive to the mission…
The 'big thing' is in you; it is you. You are the light.
Now I pray that you would know this:
“You are your best thing.” (Toni Morrison.)
Mindful Prompt: The biggest moves you can make are often the small and quiet daily subversive choices and acts to be real, to love, to heal, to resist what’s not for you and give yourself to grace.
From my upcoming series, "The Burden Is Light" this week with a subscription in the App.
Written by Liz Milani
Instagram: @thepracticeco
